Apparently I Don't Do Basic Dates 🤷🏻‍♀️

Rainbows, Whales, Guns, Sophie Tucker and Yo Mama's Sauna...

Warning: Do not try this at home, kids. These are my experiences, not my suggestions. 😉

I love that sweet feeling of alignment when you know you’re on the right path. My godmother sent me a poem the other day that speaks to my experience of being in the flow of life and this journey.

Fluent by J. O’Donohue:
“I would love to live like a river flows…
carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.”

Marinate in that for a minute. It feels like you’re riding on a bit of magic, expecting miracles to illuminate your path. This trip isn’t about me being on a mission to find my man (though I wouldn’t mind that outcome 😉)—it’s about following an inspiration and staying open to the surprises that unfold.

So, when I drove out to the ferry to start my journey, feeling tickled by the bits of magic I might encounter, I was greeted by a rainbow on my path. It felt very symbolic - a sign that I was flowing with my own divine river.

And then, on the sailing, we were visited by two different pods of whales—Orcas and Humpbacks. More evidence of magic. Tickled.

Because the idea of this adventure came to me in a way that felt divinely inspired, the feeling I’ve had this whole time is: “I don't know what’s meant to come from this journey, but I know it’s epic, and I’m fully here for the ride.”

My mandate is to show up with as much presence, curiosity, LOVE, authenticity, and a “fuck yes” attitude. Falling more and more in love with life and our weird, wild, and imperfect humanity at every turn.

I crossed the border in a flash. For those who don’t have Nexus or Global Entry, get on that shit. It’s such a dream to skip lineups and sail through with ease.

My first date is 45 minutes into the U.S.

From Seattle, we met on a dating app and had been trading messages and voice notes for at least a week. We’re going to call him Beef Boy because that’s what my mom called him when I told her we were chatting over voice notes and he disappeared because he was making beef bourguignon and had to light it on fire. Mmmmhmmm, I see you. Well played. A man who makes sexy food is basically lady porn. It really should be the sixth love language.

So i’m planning on connecting with three men in Seattle. There were a few more, but I’m trying to be incredibly discerning while also open to surprise, which is a tough combo to nail sometimes. This is where intuition and how it feels becomes incredibly important. But, as you and I will both come to learn as I share this adventure, how we feel about someone in person versus on paper—or over messaging—can be a very different thing.

So, Beef Boy recommends we meet in a tiny town called Bow-Edison. He’s coming from a camping trip with friends nearby, and there’s a to die for Mexican restaurant that his dear friend (pretty much his sister) owns. Oh, and his friends are coming too.

For some, this might feel weird, but for me, I’m all in. Show me your people, show me what you love, show me how you are with others—I think it’s all fascinating, and I’m here for it. Remember: curiosity. 😉

I rock up to the Mexican restaurant and can’t find him. I pass his friends because I don’t know what they look like and his pseudo-sister, who runs the place. I’m in the middle of texting him when I hear my name. I turn to be embraced by a very tall, very jovial human. This is what I appreciate about Beef Boy. He’s a “yes to life, heart-on-his-sleeve” kind of guy, and it makes it very easy to be around him. He’s generous with compliments in a way that makes me feel seen but not love bombed. He's not protecting or calculating, and his authenticity feels safe and fun to be around. I told him before we met in person that, at the very least, I could already tell I wanted to be friends.

Speaking of friends, we sit down outside with his two really good girlfriends, who are awesome!! We ran the gamut of conversations—from sexy food to mother wounds, my dad’s lack of filter that I’ve inherited, nude charcuterie, and how the word “fuck” adds such great enthusiasm and necessary texture when describing things. You know you’re amongst friends when forks are being swapped with perfect bites and words like, “You HAVE to try this. Fucking delicious!” My people. I would 100% go nude camping with these babes.

Mariposa Restaurant ~ Bow Edison - To die for!!

After eating, we stroll over to a cuuuuuute little art shop where Beef Boy’s pseudo-aunt works/lives. So, I’m basically meeting the family within an hour of meeting him. This is apparently how I roll, guys. No 45-minute coffee dates for this bitch. I’m all in.

Sometimes I feel like I’m Charlie in the Chocolate Factory—my curiosity and openness attracting all kinds of wonderfully wild and weird experiences. My friends often say, “Only YOU would manifest that,” or maybe it’s more like, “Only you would say yes to that!!” In any event, life is never dull. It gets weirder. Stay with me. 😉

We say bye to the friends and stroll the cute town. Beef Boy grabs my hand, which makes me feel a little schoolgirl nervous. Why? I’m not sure. I think part of me thinks it’s super sweet, and part of me feels like it’s something you do when you’re dating someone more seriously. The Hallmark movie cuteness of this town, meeting all his dear people, and now he’s grabbing my hand. I recognize the part of me that wants to figure things out before I commit to them, so there are fewer hurt feelings down the road. I pull myself back from the future, allow that part to soften, and enjoy the present moment holding his hand.

After accidentally breaking into a store to peruse ceramic cuteness (the door was unlocked 🤷🏻‍♀️), eventually get to my van. I introduce him to Blue Velvet and give him the three-minute tour. He’s an outdoor adventure guy so he can appreciate her features. After some van chat he capitalizes on a moment of silence and our close proximity and goes in for a kiss. Uh oh.

You guys, I LOVE a good kiss. I will do a whole blog post on kissing. A good kiss is the gateway drug. And this is a good kiss. Up to this point, I was thinking Beef Boy and I were probably just meant to be friends. I like his energy, but I was unsure about alignment overall. But the way he grabs my face and dances with my mouth… THIS feels aligned. Sheesh.

As I’m writing this, I’m flashing to all the times I let chemistry and desire override alignment in my past. Yikes!! Y’all know what I’m talking about. 🫣

So, I agree to go to a Sofi Tukker concert in Seattle with him in a few days.

I mean, it’s The Bread Tour, so it would be weird if I wasn’t there. (For those of you who don’t know, I fuck with some bread 🥖🥐)

I did, however, make him go home. Meaning, he was perfectly happy to continue hanging out with me, obviously, but I felt called to go into the woods by myself and get grounded my first night on the road. This part is important. Honoring your needs and staying connected to your center and your heart. I’ve done enough abandoning myself in the past to please others or get swept up in chemistry that defies intuition. We don’t do that shit anymore… at least, we try not to.

Actually, if I’m being perfectly honest, agreeing to go to the concert felt a bit sticky because I wasn’t sure how my other connection was going to go and if I would want to leave and make my way to Seattle for the show. I don’t like restrictive timelines when flowing with my intuition. In hindsight, I should have voiced that.

I share all these details because I want to bring awareness to the sticky parts of honoring our truth and speaking it with love. This dance is a tricky one for me in the dating space because I’m very sensitive to people’s feelings and not very experienced at dating multiple people at once. So, we’re learning. 😊

I spend the next day frolicking in nature, soaking up the sun, and solidifying my intentions.

Then, I reach out to my next date and see if he wants to hang out that night.

He does.

We’ve also been talking for over a week via voice notes and such. There’s a sureness and humility in the way he speaks that made me feel instantly relaxed and curious. In fact, I’ve been most curious about alignment with this one.

We make plans for me to go to his property 40 minutes north of Seattle, where he has five acres, and I can park there for the night. I know many of you are like, “Wait, you’re going to his property, and you haven’t even met yet?!” Like I said: do not try this at home! Also, know this is predicated on a couple of weeks’ worth of communicating and me trusting my intuition, as well as sending his photo and address to my safety group chat and sharing my location with several people on my phone. All important things to consider when meeting men in the wild.

And speaking of meeting in the wild…

He then messages and says:

*“Also, what are your feelings on firearms? I ask because I’m from West Texas, and they’re just a part of growing up there. But my next-door neighbor and his wife invited me to go shooting this afternoon. No pressure if that’s not at all your thing or if you have zero curiosity. But if you did, they were headed out after work at 4. You’re my priority, though, and I go shooting like once a week, so I can totally skip it, so we can hang out.

In case it wasn’t clear, I’m inviting you if that’s interesting to you, haha.”*

Should I go?? What would you do? Comment below if you would say yes or fuck no to this.

So curious!!

I didn’t intend to get into so much detail, so I think we leave it there for today…

Sooooo much more to share 💃🏻

More on guns, Sofi Tukker, the Brit, and Yo Mama’s sauna in the next episode. 😉

Loving you,
Aliyah